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| Fake News II: The Revenge |
| 03.26.05 (9:49 pm) [edit] |
[u]Local Rock-Paper-Scissors Champion De-Throned[/u]
[i]Mont Pelier, VT[/i] – Pine Tree elementary school was the site Thursday of the unseating of reigning rock-paper-scissors champion George Roberts of the 5th grade by upstart 4th grader Seth Johnson. In a rochambeau for the ages, Johnson and Roberts were pitted against each other in a best 2 out of 3 contest throughout most of recess before Johnson finally emerged victorious with a cunningly timed rock to beat Roberts’s scissors.
The duel began, as many expected it would, with Roberts gaining an early advantage. After both competitors threw rock on the first turn, Roberts followed up with a paper to cover Johnson’s second round rock. After the quick start, however, the challengers settled in to what would become an epic series of doubles.
“After that first quick loss, I knew I was in trouble,” said Johnson after the match. “But I just took a deep breath and tried to let my training take control over my consciousness.”
Indeed both Johnson and Roberts seemed to enter trance-like states for most of the battle, their eyes barely open, bodies still and relaxed save for their pumping fists. Spectators later described the sight as “awe-inspiring,” and “pretty neat.” Dana Sedgewick, a 5th grader and Roberts’s alleged girlfriend, had a vantage point virtually right on top of the action and perhaps summed it up better than anyone. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was more than rock-paper-scissors; it was art – a masterpiece.”
After Roberts’s second throw victory, both competitors threw scissors, then rock, scissors, scissors, paper, scissors, paper, paper, rock and scissors as the contest entered a streak of 327 consecutive draws. The next score was set up when Johnson and Roberts both simultaneously employed the Bonetti series – named after Charlie Bonetti, a 19th century rock-paper-scissors master, this is a complex pattern of 43 sequential throws designed to throw one’s opponent off balance. Both Roberts and Johnson appeared to notice the strategy of the other 11 throws into the series as they both diverted from the scripted 12th throw of paper and each threw scissors instead. This led to 31 playful draws that brought smiles to Roberts’s and Johnson’s faces and consisted of precisely the opposite throws of those prescribed by the Bonetti defense. Once the altered series was completed, the amazing run was finally broken up 10 throws later following draws of paper, paper and scissors when Johnson’s further scissors cut Roberts’s paper.
After a short break in the action punctuated by the amazed gasps of the audience, the opponents played out a thrilling series not likely to be repeated of no less than 546 draws, the highlight of which was a mind-bending set of 22 straight rocks followed by 3 papers, 2 scissors and a further 12 rocks.
The contest finally concluded on the 876th throw. Following draws of scissors, scissors, scissors, rock, paper, scissors and paper, Roberts’s scissors was defeated by Johnson’s rock which Johnson immediately thrust into the air as a proclamation of victory. The opponents then looked to each other and embraced in a show of sportsmanship rarely seen in this day and age.
Afterwards Roberts, whose win streak of 657 matches had come to an end, remarked that, “after a match like that, you’re just proud to have been a part of it. Sure I’m disappointed with the loss, but that was one for the record books.” When asked about the possibility of a rematch, Roberts replied thusly: “There’s plenty of time for a rematch. Right now I just want to spend some time with my family and regain my focus.”
Johnson for his part was magnanimous, extolling the virtues of his competitor only moments after defeating him. “George is a great role model of mine. Just the chance to be able to compete with him was an honor. I only hope that I’m up to the task of following in his footsteps as Pine Tree’s champion.”
The school was abuzz with news of Johnson’s victory for the rest of the afternoon, and will likely be talking about the momentous contest at least until next month’s tetherball tournament begins.
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posted by: sigbie (reply)
post date: 03.29.05 (8:48 am)
wow genious ? can we mate ?
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