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| Stupidly Real News |
| 07.07.05 (5:47 pm) [edit] |
[u]Terrorists Win Worst Award[/u]
[i]Europe[/i] – “Secret Organization Group al Qaeda Organization in Europe,” the group that perpetrated the tragic and senseless bombings that took place in London today has been awarded the title of “Worst Name for a Company or Organization for 2005.” This unexpected prize augments the already impressive rewards package that the group earned for today’s carnage which included the dumbfounded hatred of billions of people worldwide, a lifetime supply of living in dysenteric hovels and holes in refuge from international police forces, and a copy of the [u]Koran[/u] with all the bits about not killing people highlighted and double-underlined for the intelligence impaired.
The announcement of the award came early this year – it is not usually handed out until the second week in December to allow for late entries. Bruce Javitt, founder and CEO of ThinkTank, Inc., the company that sponsors the award, cited special circumstances that led to today’s decision: “Seriously, have you read the name? It takes three passes just to wrap your head around the fact that the word ‘Organization’ appears in it twice. It’s an astounding piece of verbal ineptitude, and none of us on the judging committee saw a way that anyone could surpass it by year’s end. In fact, we’re thinking of instituting a decade-wide award next winter just so SOGaQOiE can get the recognition it deserves.”
When asked if he foresaw any other groups topping this year’s winner during the rest of the decade, Javitt replied, “Well, there are certainly plenty of stupid people out there, and anything could happen. That said, these guys are really in a class of their own. It’s going to take a major effort to dethrone them.”
Although the award has been officially announced, preparations have not yet begun for the 32nd annual Worst Awards ceremony. The gala will take place on the traditional January 2nd date and will include awards in categories ranging from “Worst Dressed,” to “Worst Sitcom,” and even “Worst Wurst.” In honor of Secret Organization Group al Qaeda Organization in Europe, the event will take place in the newly renovated concert hall at Britain’s famous Scotland Yard. “We hope that this great award will entice many, or even all, of the members of the Organization Group Organization to attend the ceremony. Judging by their name, we assume that at least some of them will be of the right mien to stop by.”
--Best wishes, London, Baghdad, and anywhere else these people are lurking. Let’s fight the Idiocy.
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